Who’s Fault Was It?
So you’ve reached the age and time in your life where your retirement is looking really good to you but, you’re not ready for several reasons. Who’s the blame and who’s personally responsible for the failure that you’re feeling? You may have had this silent conversation in your head or on your way to that job that you are not looking forward to going to anymore. Can you remember saying to yourself, “If I had only not married that woman/man I wouldn’t be in this mess now” or maybe ” I don’t have the education to compete because my parents couldn’t afford to send me to college.”
Who Is The Blame?
You know, we all started out this life the same. We came in naked depending on our parents to provide for us, teach us, share important things about life with us, guide us and steer us in the right direction to becoming upstanding citizens in our communities and society. Many things that we obtained were not by choice, rather they were handed down by our parents. Most of the things that we have now or let’s say ended up with are the direct results of the decisions that we made in the past.
So I ask this question again, who is the blame? Me, you, we are. You are in your 60’s and you still want to blame “the man” for your lack of achievement, your parents for not being able to afford to send you to college yet you’ve been thinking about it and putting it off for over 30 years. How did your parents make it in life? Hard work, a vision, and a sense of pride in themselves for their achievements.
My father was raised on a farm and he came from a family of sharecroppers here in Virginia Beach, Va. He saw an opportunity to improve himself by joining the Army. He retired after 20 years and worked another 22 years in the Civil Service totaling 42 years of government service which he was proud of. He often took me back to where he grew up in Virginia Beach, even before he died just a few years ago, to reflect and go back through his life. It was his decision to leave and go into the unknown hoping it would be better than his existing life as a son of a sharecropper.
I was reading an interesting book and a question caught my attention and personally made me stop in my tracks. The author was at a seminar and a speaker asked a question that intrigued me and I want to ask you the same, “what percentage of shared responsibility do you have in making a relationship work?”( D. Hardy, 2013). There were several replies from his audience like 50/50, 51/50, and even 80/20. The speaker revealed to his audience that we all have 100 percent responsibility in everything that we experience. This means that you have the power to do….
Think about it like this, everything was up to you, you are responsible for everything you did or didn’t do, and the finger that you point should be curling back at you. I know this sounds harsh but the truth is the truth and there’s a saying I picked up in Charlotte, NC from a friend, I’m going to tell you what God love’s the best, “The Truth!”
Reflect a moment with me. How many times have we blamed someone for our failures or used some of the following excuses:
- I’m sorry I’m late I had a phone call – Why didn’t you reschedule the call for a later time?
- One of your co-workers delivers you a messed up presentation – Why didn’t you double check it yourself?
- Hey I had so much on me I don’t have my assignment – Why didn’t you start earlier?
Bottom line, you are responsible for what you do, don’t do, or the actions you take when something is presented to you. How long are you going to make excuses about you not being smart enough to get something done? Or you’re too old now? Try harder and get educated.
There is a program that I would recommend called the Wealthy Affiliate. So stop complaining, take 100% personal responsibility for the direction you’re headed, and as always, “Always Progress!”