4 Simple Techniques to Regain Your Confidence

So you are experiencing a divorce and the loss of your family structure you once knew. How do you start over after losing your career and family? Fear has and is setting in, your self-esteem is low, and you’ve lost confidence in yourself, your hard-earned skills, and your tenured abilities.

You may not be aware of how confidence and productivity go hand-in-hand. Confidence doesn’t work well without productivity, and vice versa. Just think about it in your own life: the times when you are most productive and checking items off your to-do list, how confident do you feel? Or, on the other hand, when you have that confident “GO-GETTER” attitude, how much easier is it to get things done?

Here’s something, subconsciously, you already know, “Confidence and productivity are inherently interconnected” (DA April 2017). If you start mastering one, then the other falls into place.

Your fear turns into procrastination and loss of confidence causing you the inability to move forward in life. Unaware, you are focused on you a single parent recently experiencing divorce, who might also be suffering from the loss of a promising career, or some other tragedy. You will need to regain your awareness and search for the thing(s) that are smothering your God-given skills and true purpose in life. You have to put your mark in the sand and decide to stay or move forward. 

Here are 4 simple techniques to both boost your confidence while also seeing an increase in your productivity:

Include others you need a coach or mentor

One way we gain confidence is by getting confirmation that we are doing a good job. It’s hard to get that kind of appreciation working all on your own. Being a part of a team or having a team is very healthy. It’s healthy to be able to synchronize your ideas and thoughts and receive feedback from others who are on the journey with you. With some projects, flying solo also can decrease productivity, but it does depend on the project. Even a one-man job, though, like writing a blog post, for instance, can still use some team help. Bouncing ideas off each other, or having someone read over your work is a great way to making an independent job one where you can include others.

Seems like a brief moment ago, I had a friend fold upon his knees at my desk because he was just so bottled up inside and he decided that he wasn’t going another inch nor a mile further without facing his fears ever again. It was quite a humbling experience.

 Finally, after he was satisfied with the oral review and research sessions he had been informally conducting with me, he was convinced that he wanted to “Always Progress!”. I thought about that moment, how he saw the lack “of” and he was directed to speak with me. He’s got it! I realized the 8 weeks that I’ve been there for him, my brand had been established. He learned to recognize potential opportunities while leaning towards success. I learned a lot from him about me and how I’m perceived.


I’m a former Marine and an Army Logistics Officer and Commander. I’ve been in your current situation, so this isn’t hearsay, it’s the gospel of “Von”. I have been stricken with Acute Asthma attacks with my latest attack in January 2020 resulting in me dying in my living room but, an EMS specialist would not give up on me until she got a heartbeat. Why was my life restored, I asked? What am I here to do? I learned that people respect and trust my leadership that, to me, was still in the developing stages from the beginning of my dream until I became an officer in the Army. Look, like you, I still had skills and abilities and I just needed someone to encourage me, to be a listening ear, to tell me what I needed to hear, and who cared about my further development and success. 

Realizing that self-awareness presents a visual picture, does help to talk to someone who has blazed that trail. Being transparent while sharing, strategizing, and brainstorming through a vision, setting goals for the possible first steps toward success was what was needed in this situation. I remembered when I was young the older people always shared stories about life, painting visual pictures to help lead and direct me in a better life.

 What do you see yourself doing in the next year? Notice, I didn’t say next five years? This isn’t a business, but it’s your life business so be realistic, true to yourself, and take baby steps before you leap. You crawled for a while before you walked right? Getting your confidence back is no different. Understand that there are going to be days when you can’t walk worth a damn and there will be days when you run like a gazelle! The bottom line is there will be good and bad days so prepare for them.

Take criticism, don’t back away from it

In a similar situation, many people have shied away from team involvement because the criticism they received was too much to handle. They didn’t gain confidence, they lost it. That negative energy didn’t help them create or produce more either.

Hey, this is where excuses are made and now you are procrastinating due to fear. However, when you learn to see criticism as a benefit, a chance to improve your work, not as a heated stab at you, then you begin to see that these criticizing colleagues respect you enough to want to help. It doesn’t always feel that way, but try to see it as your friends challenging you to do your best. Having confidence that you can succeed with some slight adjustments is your new path to success. Those small or large changes may be what you need to be more productive as well.

Take Naps

Things always look worse when you’re tired, so do yourself a favor and take a nap.

Not 3-hour naps every time you yawn or get distracted, but a short 20 or 30-minute nap here and there actually helps you feel more alert. By taking out a short amount of break time, you’ll actually find yourself being more productive with the time that you do have and feel more accomplished and confident in the process.

Focus on finishing one task at a time

When your to-do list is overwhelming, follow writer Anne Lamott’s advice: “Just take it bird by bird.” She recounts a time when her brother had to finish a 3-month assignment writing a report on birds, an assignment he saved until the night before it was due.

We’ve all felt that impending doom when a task seems too large to finish in such a short amount of time. Rather than try to be productive, we curl up under our desks or find some other way to avoid what we need to get done. Lamott’s father would not let his son stay “immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead…[He] put his arm around [Lamott’s] brother’s shoulder, and said, ‘Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”

As you face similar dilemmas, just take it piece by piece. Find tasks that need to be done first and pick 3 or 4 to work on that day while blocking out time frames to accomplish them. Don’t move on to another task until you finish the task you are working on, and don’t let yourself go over those time blocks unless necessary. Discipline is a key to be productive, but you’ll see how that discipline also makes your confidence soar.

These are only the beginning building blocks to increase your productivity and confidence. Comment below with some ideas that you’ve thought about implementing but lacked the confidence to move forward. Sometimes all you need is one good idea to get you going.

If you’re interested in discussing some other techniques to help regain your confidence to grow your business while increasing your productivity,  let’s discuss how to “Always Progress!”

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9 thoughts on “4 Simple Techniques to Regain Your Confidence”

  1. Taking naps is definitely the sure way I make use of to get myself back ti full productivity and confidence. When I just woke up with only work in my mind, I tend to have an undistracted attention towards what I’m doing and as such, I become more productive while maintaining a higher level of confidence in me. Also, taking one step per time also helps to build confidence and self believe. Whenever a task is successfully done, then the next one becomes easier. Great tips

    1. Thank you for your feedback. Being relaxed and up to the task is the functional thing to do. The thing is we have been taught to “multi-task” as a way of survival and there is nothing wrong with it. We just have to know and learn to plan properly so that we can work each project with our focus towards completing one important task at a time. Thanks again for your feedback!

  2. Good, clear and informative article! 🙂 Lots of good points/tips, I like to take little naps and even sleeping and/or resting 30-45min helps me lots! Fully agree about taking some criticism and how important it is, many of us can’t or don’t want to take it but I think its most of the time a good thing, not something “mean and annoying”. 
    Have a nice day and good luck            -Jesse

    1. Jesse thank you for your feedback! I sometimes find myself sleep at my computer so I have to walk away and take naps that sometimes last 2-3 hours. It’s distracting when you have planned to work and can’t keep your eyes opened. Your body will always tell you to stop or rest first.

      Criticism is an area that I have to coach. When I grew up we used to use a saying to hide our true feelings, “Sticks and stones may break our bones but words will never hurt me!” What a lie! The main reason we made that up was that we were hurt in the first place.

      I’ve been yelled at and also been the one doing the yelling in the military. Trust me it has its place. I’ve learned that since I am no longer in the military. Criticism is a tool and a weapon that when used properly will make you one of the most loved people in places where you encounter people. You get more bees with honey. Most people who know me, know I am firm, fair, and competent but I don’t spare discipline. As an element of surprise, most people expect the worst when they have to speak to me but I let them do all the talking. This way they think out loud as we go over the issue.

      When I have to use criticism as feedback, I do so by asking questions giving the person who has the issues an opportunity to discuss why he or she made a decision that is not working at the particular time. It’s a valuable tool when used correctly. People can leave feeling valuable rather than torn apart.

      Again, thank you for your feedback!

      “Always Progress!”

  3. Excellent article. Very poignant. I think the ending was a bit of a cliff-hanger though… 😛 
    I’d like to see what your take on “always progress”. That is a motto that I live through. Any progression, even if it’s the most minuscule one is worthy of celebration and can be used to build momentum. 

    I think the 1 technique that I’ve struggled with the most is finishing 1 task at a time. There was a time when I was working a full-time job, dropshipping, blogging, and also doing a second job. It’s hard to be effective living like that! I think I will take that 1 paragraph in your article to heart. 

    I appreciate the well-thought out article! 

    1. Thank you so much for your feedback! Being that I am a former US Marine and US Army Officer, I still today am very competitive even though I suffer from asthma. It has changed my life tremendously. This is an obstacle the comes before a true blessing! So when you see “Always Progress!” it is in my being to never quit and celebrate each success. 

      One of my affirmations is that I value yesterday but I live today! 

      So focusing and completing 1 task at a time is something I constantly drive to my clients and friends as well. I always throw out, “I thought you were boiling an egg”, when did you begin scrambling eggs? I use several tools to keep me on track and on task to finish 1 task at a time.

      I take the time to first review my project, decide what the important task are and I make them “A’s”. My next task need to be completed as well in order in support of the A’s so they are my “B” tasks. Finally, things that are distractions and time-wasters are my “C’s” because these things do not affect my project. They are obstacles like remembering to set the record on my television set so I don’t miss the upcoming NCIS show. Yes, it’s important to my leisure but not to the real task at hand.

      You fit in a large and popular community in the US that I call the “beginning juggler!”. You have a dream, a full-time job, and trying to work and develop your business. Your struggles are a common problem amongst the struggling entrepreneurs and busy small business owners that I currently coach. Feel free to reach out to me in my inbox, I will be happy to share with you. 

      Again, thank you for your feedback. Looking forward to hearing from you.

  4. Confidence is all-important, especially when it comes to productivity. Lacking confidence can lead to idleness as there is an element of hopelessness when it comes to that. I agree that these two go hand in hand. I agree also that a team environment can be conducive to gaining confidence. It’s always nice to connect with people. Learning to accept criticism is really necessary when it comes to eventual success. Naps, too, are great advice. I think that relating to people, sharing the same struggles in regard to business, is good got confidence and self-esteem building. A team is a great thing!

    1. Thank you for your feedback. once again I am recuperating from another asthma attack and I apologize for being so slow in getting back to you. Your feedback is appreciated and as always my confidence is growing as I “Always Progress!”

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